The Lost Pearl...

This is a story I read in a book but I feel like it highlights my life right now...

One day my family had gone to the shore on a day trip. My brother and I were playing in the water while my parents read on the beach. Soon after playing in the water we found an oyster bed. There were dozens and dozens of shells some living and some already dead.

We had accumulated a small pile of shells and one that I thought was perfect it was slightly open about an eighth of an inch and something was rattling around inside, I wanted to keep the shell so I tried to shake it out, the oyster innards spilt all over my hands and I went to throw it into the ocean off of the pier. As I threw what I thought was waste off of the pier I saw a small glint in the middle of it. I was young enough to have a firm objective of wanting the perfect shell but old enough to know what I had just thrown away.

I marked the spot with my eyes and swam to the exact spot, I told my brother and we furiously searched the bed where I thought the pearl had landed. Soon enough my parents had told us that it was time to leave soon I frantically told them what had happened and we were now all searching for the pearl. But it was gone and we had a schedule that demanded that we leave almost immediately, we had to go and I left the pearl there in the ocean a gift from the perfect shell that I had thrown away...

Years later after I had been married the subject of children came up and I just wasn't ready in my mind there were things I wanted to do, things I did not want to give up between my husband and I and for seven years of our marriage I tried to find a reason to not have children. Shortly after i had given in and gave birth to our first child we had found out that the days of my childbearing were over, and our brand new baby even at that was a miracle. Eight years I had wasted that I could have had children... A gift from a perfect shell that God had given me I had again thrown away... I tried to make Gods timing my timing

~makes you think doesn't it?