Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Good Fight

I remember sitting in our pastors office, with Rob (then my fiance) and very naively thinking "what could I possibly fight about with this wonderful man?"
After a year and a half of dating, smooth sailing, the most "vanilla" relationship I had ever been in, and yet in the most wonderful way. There was not one thing we didn't agree on.
Amazing right?
Not so much actually. This state of twitterpation, of euphoria, was really the worst thing that could have happened to us as a couple.
I don't know if it was the fact that I had never been in a relationship that wasn't volatile and Rob not knowing how not to say yes when it needed to be no or the other way around. Or him wanting to keep me happy, either way looking back it was probably the worst set of circumstances that befell us over the next two years...
In my search for God I have also noticed that I am searching for myself and for my husband.
Somewhere along the way we went from being this devoted couple to retreating to our separate corners before we have to do too much damage control with each other. I wonder when we stopped fighting the good fight. Or if we still are, just separately and quietly...
Just among the many things I am searching for...